How to write a eulogy for a friend

Start with one quality

A eulogy for a friend should not try to say everything. Choose one quality they was known for - the thread everyone in the room will recognise - and let every story you tell return to it. Some common starting points for a friend:

• · The moment you knew you'd be friends for life
• · The in-jokes only the two of you understood
• · The way they showed up when it mattered
• · Shared adventures, gigs, holidays, quiet nights in
• · Their loyalty and the honesty only a friend can offer
• · The chosen-family bond you built over the years

A structure that works (5 short parts)

1. A small, specific opening - a single image of your friend the room will recognise.
2. Who they was - two or three sentences. Where they grew up, what they loved, what shaped their life.
3. One story - chosen to show the quality you picked above.
4. What they leaves behind - the people, the values, the things we'll carry.
5. A short close - a line spoken to their, or a thank you to the room.

Opening lines to borrow

Skip the generic. Start with something small and specific to your friend:

• "We met at an age when you don't know yet who your people are - and somehow I got lucky."
• "There are friends, and then there are the ones who become family. That was them."
• "If you knew them, you already know the story I'm about to tell - because they told it best."

Prompts to find your story

Sit with these for ten minutes. Write the first thing that comes - you'll find your eulogy inside the answers.

• · How did the two of you meet?
• · What did they always text or say at exactly the right moment?
• · What did you do together that nobody else quite understood?
• · When did they show up for you without being asked?
• · What did they teach you about being a good friend?
• · What did they laugh at that always made you laugh too?

Sample lines you can adapt

• "They were the friend you called with the good news, and the friend you called at 2am when it all fell apart."
• "They chose the people in their life carefully, and if you were one of them, you knew it."
• "Being their friend made me a better person - kinder, braver, more myself."
• "Thank you, my friend. For the years, for the belly-laughs, for every ordinary moment that turned out to matter."

Reading it on the day

Print it in 14pt with double spacing. Mark a breath every few lines. Ask a sibling, partner or friend to stand close by so they can finish if you need them to. A pause is not a failure - it is the room remembering with you. Aim for 4–6 minutes; about 600–900 words.