How to write a eulogy

A simple seven-step approach

1. 1

   Gather memories first

   Before you write a single line, spend 20 minutes listing memories, stories, qualities and turns of phrase the person was known for. Ask one or two family members to do the same and pool the notes.

2. 2

   Choose one thread

   A eulogy isn't a biography. Pick one quality — their kindness, their humour, their quiet courage — and let every story you tell return to it.

3. 3

   Open with something specific

   Skip the generic opening line. Start with a small, specific image: the way they made tea, the song they hummed, how they greeted strangers. Specificity makes the room lean in.

4. 4

   Tell one full memory

   Pick one memory and tell it in detail — the place, the weather, what was said. One vivid scene moves people more than five summarised ones.

5. 5

   Name their impact

   Say plainly what they gave the people in the room. Who they made braver, calmer, kinder. Who they protected. Who they loved.

6. 6

   Close with a quiet line

   End with a single sentence — a goodbye, a thank you, or something they used to say. Keep it short. The silence after will hold it.

7. 7

   Read it aloud, twice

   Time it. Mark places to breathe. Cut any line you stumble on — if it's hard to say, it's hard to hear. Print it large, double-spaced, on paper.

A short example to borrow from

"Mum kept a tin of biscuits on top of the fridge that none of us were ever tall enough to reach without her. That's how I'll remember her — always one small kindness above us, waiting to be handed down. She made the people around her brave. She made strangers feel like cousins. She made us, and she made us better. Thank you, Mum. We've got it from here."

Common questions