How to Write an Obituary: A Step-by-Step Guide With Examples and Tips

Writing an obituary is one of those tasks that arrives at the worst possible moment, when you are grieving and exhausted, and yet it asks you to sum up a person's entire life in a few short paragraphs. If that feels impossible right now, please be gentle with yourself. An obituary does not need to be perfect. It needs to be true, and warm, and recognisably them.

This guide explains how to write an obituary step by step, what to include, the top things to get right, and a few examples to help you start. Whether you are writing for a newspaper, a funeral programme, or an online tribute page, the principles are the same.

What is an obituary?

An obituary is a notice that announces a person's death and celebrates their life. It usually shares the basic facts, including their name, age, and when and where they died, alongside a short account of who they were, the people they loved, and the funeral or memorial details.

At its heart, an obituary does two jobs at once. It informs people that someone has died and how to pay their respects, and it honours that person by capturing something of the life they lived.

Obituary, eulogy, or death notice: what is the difference?

These three are often confused, so it helps to be clear.

A death notice is a brief, factual announcement, often paid for by the line in a newspaper, giving the essential details and funeral arrangements. An obituary is longer and more personal, telling the story of the person's life as well as the facts. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered aloud at the funeral itself. You may well write all three, and they can happily draw on the same memories.

What to include in an obituary

While every obituary is different, most follow a familiar structure. You do not need every element, only the ones that feel right for your loved one.

1. The announcement. Their full name, age, the place they lived, and the date they died. Some families add a line on the cause, but this is entirely optional and personal.
2. A short life story. Where and when they were born, key chapters of their life such as education, career, military service, marriage, and the achievements or passions that defined them.
3. The people they loved. Family members who survive them, and sometimes those who died before them. This is usually phrased with care, for example "lovingly remembered by" or "predeceased by."
4. Who they really were. The hobbies, quirks, sayings, and passions that made them themselves. This is the part people remember most, so let their personality shine.
5. The service details. The date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial, and whether it is public or private.
6. Special wishes. Requests such as donations to a chosen charity in lieu of flowers, or a note of thanks to carers and medical staff.
7. A photograph. A well-chosen photo, often from a happy time rather than only their final years.

How to write an obituary, step by step

1. Gather the facts first

Before writing a word, collect the essentials: full name, dates and places of birth and death, and the names of close family. Getting these right matters, so check them with relatives where you can.

2. Sketch their life story

Note the milestones and the meaningful chapters. You are not writing a full biography, so choose the moments that capture who they were rather than listing everything they ever did.

3. Capture their character

Ask yourself and others a few simple questions. What did they love? What made them laugh? What will people miss most? A single vivid detail, the way they always overfed the dog or hummed while gardening, says more than a paragraph of praise.

4. Choose a tone that fits them

An obituary can be warm, traditional, or celebratory. A quiet, formal person may suit a more traditional voice, while a larger-than-life character might deserve something joyful. Let the person guide the tone, not convention.

5. Write a simple draft

Lead with the announcement, move through their life story and the people they loved, add their character and passions, and finish with the service details and any special wishes. Keep sentences plain and heartfelt. Plain and true always beats flowery and forced.

6. Add the practical details

Include the funeral or memorial information clearly, along with any request for donations or flowers, and how people can offer condolences.

7. Read it aloud and check it carefully

Read the whole thing out loud, ideally to another family member. This catches errors and makes sure it sounds like them. Double-check every name, date, and spelling, because these are the details people notice and remember.

Top considerations to get right

A few things are worth extra care when writing an obituary.

Protect against identity theft. This surprises many families. Fraudsters scan obituaries for personal information, so it is wise to leave out a full date of birth, the mother's maiden name, a home address, and similar details that could be misused.

Involve the family. Obituaries can stir strong feelings about who is named, how, and in what order. Where you can, share a draft with close relatives before it is published to avoid hurt and to gather memories you may have missed.

Decide what stays private. The cause of death, family rifts, and difficult chapters are yours to include or leave out. There is no obligation to share anything that does not feel right.

Mind the deadlines and length. Newspapers often charge by length and have early deadlines, so check their requirements before you write. Online tributes have no such limits, which gives you room to say more.

Choose where to publish thoughtfully. Many families now publish a fuller, lasting version online alongside a shorter newspaper notice, so distant friends and future generations can find it.

A short obituary example

Here is a brief example to show how the elements come together:

"Margaret Ellen Brown, 78, of Bristol, passed away peacefully on 14 March 2026, surrounded by her family. Born in Cardiff in 1947, Margaret spent thirty years as a primary school teacher who could quiet a room with a single look and a warm smile. She loved her garden, terrible puns, and Sunday roasts loud with grandchildren. She is lovingly remembered by her husband John, her three children, and seven grandchildren. A celebration of her life will be held on 28 March at St Mary's Church. In lieu of flowers, the family kindly asks for donations to Macmillan Cancer Support."

Notice how a few small, specific details, the single look and the terrible puns, bring Margaret to life far more than a list of dates ever could.

A free tool to help you write it

If staring at a blank page feels too much right now, you do not have to do this alone. TributeLegacy's free Obituary Writer guides you through a few gentle questions and shapes a warm, dignified obituary you can share, in a tone of your choosing, whether warm, traditional, or celebratory. It takes under a minute, it is private until you choose to share it, and it even shows you a preview of how a lasting tribute page for your loved one could look.

Frequently asked questions

How long should an obituary be? Most obituaries are around 200 to 400 words, though there is no fixed rule. Newspaper notices tend to be shorter because they are often charged by length, while online tributes can be as long as you wish.

Who writes the obituary? It is usually written by a close family member, though families often write it together. A funeral director or a guided tool can help if you would rather not start from scratch.

Do you have to include the cause of death? No. Including the cause of death is entirely optional and a personal choice for the family.

Where do you publish an obituary? Common options include local and national newspapers, funeral home websites, and online memorial or tribute pages. Many families use a combination, pairing a short paid notice with a fuller, lasting version online.

What is the difference between an obituary and a eulogy? An obituary is a written notice that announces a death and shares a person's life story, usually published in print or online. A eulogy is a tribute spoken aloud at the funeral or celebration of life.

A gentle closing thought

An obituary is a small thing on a page, and at the same time it is one of the last gifts we give the people we love, the act of telling the world they were here and they mattered. Whatever words you find, the care you take in finding them is itself a tribute.

If you would like a lasting place for that tribute to live, TributeLegacy's free Obituary Writer can turn what you write into a permanent online home where family and friends can light a candle, share photos, and remember together.

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This article is for general guidance and is not a substitute for professional or legal advice. If you are struggling with grief, please consider reaching out to a bereavement support organisation or a healthcare professional.